Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
