the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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