is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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