dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
