Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
