Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize