jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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