I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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