11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
