Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize