My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
