were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
