Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize