So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
