HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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