bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
