Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize