how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
