I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize