There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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