just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
