Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
