I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize