i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
