we're blogging at a bar
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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