If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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