so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
