So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
