I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
