the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
