Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
