alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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