i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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