I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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