I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
