You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
