i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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