oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
