I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
