just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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