I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize