So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
