Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
