Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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