So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
