oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
