I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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