i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
