I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So many bounce houses so little time
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
