none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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