Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
