you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
