I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
