Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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