Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
