Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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