before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
