I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
