You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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