In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
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