i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
