My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
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