dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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