honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
