I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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