shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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