remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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