The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
